Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Valentine's Day - through the eyes of a guy.

Look around you—guys are acting strange.
The signs are everywhere: nervousness, lobster-like movement, sudden love for fiddle music, exploding teeth . . . all because of Feb. 14.

Why? Well, girls don’t understand the pressure ONE day can cause. It starts weeks before with a million questions: Should I ask someone out? Does that girl even like me? Is she just nice to me or nice to everyone? Will wearing a T-shirt with a horse on it impress her?

Newborn side snap cotton t-shirt dyed in night sky stripes with a hand painted horse. $10

Then even if a girl is interested, guys don’t usually catch it.

Are you taking Mandy to the dance?

I don’t know—I can’t figure her out. Every time I talk to her she turns red and giggles. Hmmmmm . . . She did give me this gift and wrote a 500-page book called “I Love Mike.” Oh, and that blimp in the sky has my picture on it, right next to hers. But I don’t know how she feels.

If a guy is taking out a girl, his mind really starts racing: Where should we go? The dance? A movie? The Hog Festival is in town . . . Oh wait—dinner! Fun? Romantic? Pizza? No, not pizza. The last time I ate pepperoni I got dizzy and did “The Funky Ostrich” dance.
Pepperoni Pizza

It’s exhausting. Plus there’s always a fear of failure. What if his choice bombs? Some guys aren’t the best at date ideas, even if they try.

Brian: Ready to catch and cook your own turkey?


Strike One!

Surprise! Tonight’s theme is “Lost in Antarctica!” You can gnaw on this fishsicle.

Strike Two!

I picked a cozy spot—for you and the Xbox. Watch me defeat Warlord Xarculangor!

Strike Three!

Then there’s more pressure. Why? Because of Guy Rule No. 48a: Guys feel like they must outdo whatever was done last Valentine’s Day. Here’s an example:

Valentine’s Day with Britt:

2005—Note written on gum wrapper

2006—Flowers, stuffed “love goose,” note on nice paper

2007—Planted rose garden, poem, dinner

2008—10-course meal, movie, basket of doves, chocolate sculpture, paint initials on cat

2009 [in progress]—Hire chef, live orchestra in car, win “American Idol” and write “Britt—It’s Valentine’s Day” hit song, dessert on moon

Then comes the big night, which includes one of the most terrifying experiences some guys will ever face: dress clothes. I know some guys who would rather be beamed to Planet of the Ant Kingdom than wear a tie. (By the way, putting on a tie can be traumatic. The first time I tried it took four days.)


Now you know why guys around you seem extra weird; they’re planning Valentine’s Day. And in some cases, overcoming great obstacles, personal insecurities and a fear of ironed pants—maybe just for you. And one smile from you makes it all worth it. That’s another secret about guys. If he’s with the girl God has placed in his life, he’ll do almost anything for her—even if it means his teeth might explode.

:),*}, ;}

This article appeared in Brio & Beyond magazine in February 2008, written by Patrick Dunn.... =)

Happy early Valentine's Day!! =)